APACALDA Confronts the Darkness on Genre-Fluid Debut ‘There’s a Shadow in My Room and It Isn’t Mine’

There's a Shadow in My Room and It Isn't Mine is a collection of seething emotions expressed over a genre-defiant production; It’s also the debut album from Montreal-based artist Cassandra Angheluta, who performs under the name APACALDA. It draws from a range of dance, grunge, and pop music while infusing it all with Angheluta’s own personal angst.

“I make music for not only the purpose of, you know, sharing art, but also, it's a cathartic experience,” says Angheluta. “I'm writing with the intention of getting this out of my body.”

Angheluta draws the name ‘APACALDA’ from the Romanian words for ‘hot water,’ which points to the fluidity of her music and life. The album showcases her range as it ebbs and flows from low-tone sombre melodies and angst-filled chords to rhythmic drum and synth. What comes through in each piece is her eclectic inspirations, all driven by whatever mood is flooding Angheluta in the moment. 

“I really love Prince and Madonna, I feel like they strike something more flirty and mischievous… when I’m super moody or ‘Emo girl@hotmail.com,’ it's Radiohead,” says Angheluta. “I recently got into Fred again…, because I also love to dance. There's something about dance music that's driving and continuous. I don't know, I just love it.”

Angheluta considers herself to be an artist over a musician. She endeavours not to limit herself to a sole expressive pursuit, which works to the benefit of her music; her love of poetry and writing lends to her lyricism, while her pastimes of collage and painting train her to create something new out of pieces of what she’s experienced before.

“I feel ‘artist’ leans more on an internal way of seeing the world and being, versus ‘musician’ is what I do with my hands,” says Angheluta. “I love to create things with my hands…  it makes me stomach the existentialism of being a human, just trying to be playful and see beautiful things.”

There's a Shadow in My Room and It Isn't Mine features a stellar production, with instrumentation from Mishka Stein of TËKË TËKË and drummer Tommy Crane. Juno Award-winning engineer Samuel Woywitka provided some of his own production and handled mixing the album. Beyond its sound, the album deals with major themes of trauma, heartbreak, and self-discovery.

“Darkness,” the second single off the album, is one of Angheluta’s more pop-centric pieces. It echoes a Chromatics-esque sound rich with synths and drum machines all under a wash of melodic vocals. The song works on the feeling of change, when you’re prone to linger in a moment passed before accepting what’ll be different going forward. The video, directed by Dahlia Bertoldi, transposes this theme over an interplay of gender identity and movement.

“It's about these parts of you that have been suppressed, repressed, hidden, pushed down, and are fighting to come to the center more— to be seen and heard and acknowledged— and older parts of you kind of fading away,” says Angheluta.

The song “Wait Another Day” is another standout on the album for Angheluta. It narrows in on the small moments one finds themselves in when depressed. It’s not big emotions, but rather an overarching melancholy marked by unwashed dishes self self-rumination. A solid, continuous beat accompanied by smoky guitar makes the song a bed-rot anthem. 

“I wrote in the darkest times I've ever been… It's about literally grasping moment by moment, just hoping the next moment is going to feel easier,” says Angheluta. “That's a really loaded song for me. I'm gonna play it live at my album launch show, and I'm really excited, but I'm also like, ‘am I gonna burst into tears?’”

Other standout tracks on There's a Shadow in My Room include “Dead Weight” and “Lie 4 You.” The ladder song is full of lust and soaked in hunger; it’s a side of herself that Angheluta is excited to fearlessly share. The former song, in stark contrast, tells of the effect of holding onto deeply damaging trauma; she gradually builds into a guttural scream before again becoming small, but with a sense of peace made. For Angheluta, the central thesis of the album is catharsis; the feeling of release that expressing through music can offer.

 “I was training with my personal trainer. It's literally October 13, and she's like, “my four-year-old daughter came into my room last night and said the weirdest thing, it freaked me out.” She's like, “she said, ‘Mom, there's a shadow in my room and it isn't mine.’”… My album was done at that point, and I wasn't sure what I was going to call it. I was like, ‘That's it,’” says Angheluta. 

“There's a lot of shit I'm carrying that, A: doesn't belong to me, or B: I'm over it… I think it's easier once you realize this isn't actually a part of me; It's just something I've held on to… I hope that [listeners] can be like, ‘Oh my god, I relate so much to this that I feel my own catharsis listening to this. Through listening to somebody else going through similar things, I feel less alone, and I'm ready to, you know, let go of these shadows.’”

There's a Shadow in My Room and It Isn't Mine is out today. Affecting, varied, and sonically tight, it will be a great album for feeling your feelings throughout the ups and downs of summer.